Post Assessment

Post Assessment

Strengths and Weaknesses of my script 'Special'

Strengths - My plot is interesting and original. I thought it was written easily, for teenagers and adults to understand. The way it was performed was very smoothly. I thought also, there was a bit of humour against the no emotion that Sam (autistic). 

Weaknesses - I thought, I could have put a bit more speech for the mum character, because she is very over the top, I don't think I showed it well enough!
 
Things to develop - When writing and re-writing I changed many things such as the characters interactions and in the end I felt that I was writing in a more realistic natural way instead of a forced way. 
 
Differences between Theatre scripts and Film scripts.
 
The play-script for a theatrical production includes, a full description of the set/props for each scene, details of the time in which the scene happens and explanations about all the significant actions/movements that have to take place while its characters mouth their dialogues. These are intended to guide the plays director, set designer, lighting specialist, and actors, to properly interpret what the playwright visualised.
 
A movie-script includes all these, plus 'shot'-breakdowns as well - which indicate how the narration should be composed of a series of artfully mingled and linked long shots, medium shots, close-ups and extreme close-ups, which will subliminally make the viewers feel that they too are part of the screened action!
Oversimplified though this is, it outlines the basic differences between a theatrical and movie script.
The differences fall into two categories - Aesthetic and Stylistic
The aesthetic differences (perhaps more accurately called “cosmetic differences”) describe the look of the script. Both templates have conventions for tab-stops and/or capitalization for dialogue, parentheticals, transitions and scene headers. While screenplays are largely harmonzed, the stageplay format is further differentiated between American and International formats.
The stylistic differences recognize the media being depicted. Stageplays tend to be more dialogue heavy because that’s what the audience in the cheap seats needs to make sense of the scene. The screenplay, however, acknowledges the contribution of both the camera and other members of the cast & crew. As a rule of thumb, a good screenplay only describes what will be seen or heard. A character’s internal motivation has no place in most screenplays nor should the screenwriter tell the actor how to read a line or tell a director where to put the camera.

My Soap - The Townsend
When we watched our soap, I thought it was ok, but very cringey. I thought that the story had a good pace and a good flow.

Strengths - I think I kept my character strong throughout and I think that I improvised well when nessescary.

Weakness - i think i could have gone further with my character maybe I could have looked into more types of children with the type of past Courtney had.

Things that I could have done differently - I think if I had some more time, I could have researched more into children being abused and sexually used! I could have also, thought I could have done a bit more preparation on my lines instead of improvising most of them.

Script Writing 22/5/14

Rachels LessonScript Writing

My Soap first draft, as soon as we had decided on characters, we decided to change Brandiis name because we thought after deciding on her character that her name didn't suit, so we changed it to Courtney. 

Script (First Draft)

Start with establishing shot of Courtney in a gang. She is being followed by a strange, older man, who we see looking at her [half-shot from behind of man, looking at Courtney]. Courtney gets a text from her mum, asking her to come home and cook dinner. Courtney turns to her friends:

Courtney - (suggestively) Oh, I gotta go, I'm meeting someone

[friends laugh, wolf-whistle, cheer]

[Camera shot following C as she walks away]. 

Courtney walks down an alley, followed by camera [as man]. She looks sideways, as if she feels someone walking behind her. Halfway down the alley, she turns to confront him.

C - (angrily) I've already got a shadow thanks.

She continues to walk, but the man still follows

C - (confrontational) Seriously, do you have a problem?

[Camera cuts to behind C, looking directly at the man]

Man - (creepy, sexual) I'm sorry, but I think you are the most gorgeous girl I have ever seen

C - (surprised) Oh...thanks. (She turns away, and begins to walk off)

Man - (stopping her) No, wait. I'm a scout...I know that with that face, you'll go far.

Courtney is shocked and stands there, stunned.

Man - (eagerly) Here, take my card. Call me. (Courtney stands, looking at card [close-up of card]. He turns to walk away, but turns back, energetically, but firm) Hang on, let me call you. 

Camera moves out, fading into Courtney at the airport departure lounge with Man

Man - (creepy) You're going to love London. It's great.

C - (lovingly) I can't wait! (She holds his hand, and he squeezes back) [close-up]

The scene cuts to the apartment in London, where they will be staying. They walk in, put the luggage on the bed. Courtney is enamoured by her new surroundings.

C - (astounded) Oh my God, this place is amazing!

Man - (slyly) Welcome to London. (She pecks him, however he takes it too far, but Courtney goes along with it, as she trusts him. They passionately kiss as they go into a room. The door slams, and we assume they are going to have sex)

The scene changes to the man and his friend talking in the living room. Courtney comes out the bedroom and goes through to the kitchen. [Camera looks at a side shot of Courtney, but we can see the man and friend]. Money changes hands from the friend to the man. 

The man calls Courtney over

Man - Come here babe, I want you to meet my friend, Matt. (The man pulls Courtney onto the sofa, in between the 2 men. Matt puts his hand on her leg, and starts kissing her neck. Matt stands and takes her to the bedroom. Courtney turns)

C - (worried) What's going on?

Man - (commanding) Don't worry babe, just do what you're told!

Courtney keeps eye-contact until the door finally closes. [shot of the man counting money]

Montage of Courtney in compromising situations with different men.

The scene changes. We are now leaving a school. Courtney is walking out, and caught up by Junior, her friend.

Junior - (out of breath) Courtney, wait!

C - Hey Junior.

J - I was going to go into town, d'ya wanna come?

C - Oh, I'm sorry, I've got to meet someone.

J - Ok honey, see ya tomorrow.

They part ways, and we follow Courtney for a few footsteps.

The scene changes to a counsellors office. Phil Townsend is on the phone to his wife, Sheila. 

Sheila - Can you run the pub tonight? I'm meant to be going out with the girls.

Phil - Look, I have my job. You have yours. Get one of your stupid barmaids to run it for you while you go for a piss-up.

S - You sit behind a desk all day, talking to hormonal bloody teenagers who have no idea what real life is like. I have no time off, all I want is one night, is that too much much to ask? Actually, no forget it. Have a nice fucking day.

Shot of Sheila slamming the phone down. Next shot shows Phil slamming the phone down, just as Courtney steps through the door.

Script Writing 22/5/14

Rachels Lesson

Script Writing

For my script, there has been many changes and developments.

Script Writing

Scene 1

Amelia is tidying up the house, she picks up Sam's school bag and some of his books fall out onto the floor; they have nasty notes and words written on the front covers. 

Amelia shocked by this, shoves everything back in Sam's bag, but keeps the books out. 

Amelia: Shouting up to sam - Sam come here a minute!

Sam: Casual, shouting from upstairs- What do you want?

Amelia: Shouting - Just come here 

Sam quickly runs down the stair and comes to where Amelia is sitting on the sofa.

Amelia: Worried - Sam... what is with these notes! What's the problem? Are you ok? 

Sam: Timid/shy - Nothing... just give me my books!

Amelia: Worried - Sam what are these notes! Who has been writing them? More worried Tell me please Sam! 

Sam: Frustrated/upset - Please Amelia...Just leave it. I don't want any hasel! 

Sam runs away upstairs and slams the door.

Scene 2

Blackout: Sam is at school and about to go to on break in the playground. He is walking along the corridor towards the door to the playground.

He is suddenly stopped. 

An older, much more butcher boy stops Sam from walking out to the playground. 

He pushes him against the wall next to the door. He is surrounded by other boys. 

McKenzie: harshly - Where you going dip face!

Sam doesn’t respond. He tries to break free from McKenzie’s grip.

McKenzie:Oi... I’m talking to you!

Sam:nervously – I I I’m going to the playground…

McKenzie: Oh are you…Come with me!

Sam is pushed by Mckenzie into the boys changing rooms. 

Scene 3

Blackout to Katie, Sam's mum is at the local community centre with her friends and volunteers setting up a charity event. 

She is very flustered and is panicking a lot because she wants everything to be perfect. 

Katie: Can I get another table please!

Women 1: Calm down! It will be fine, everything is done!

Katie: Ok! The press will be here in 10 minutes. Ok, everything is done! 

Katie carries on getting everything prepared and waits for the press to arrive. 

Scene 4

Meanwhile at school Sam is having a difficult time with the older boys in the school. 

Sam is sitting in the corner of the boys changing from with all his school boys ripped and all over the floor. 

McKenzie: HA! Alright there school boy, you should think before you step foot infront of me.

Adlibs of all McKenzies friends: Ha/alright school boy

McKenzie and his friends walk out laughing, Sam is jsut left 

Scene 5

Katie has an interview with the press and explains what she is trying to do. She has people singing, face painting for the kids and adult beauty bits and others. She has an interview and is asked how she is doing and how she feels raising the money for the charity, then they go and she is relieved of stress. 

Interviewer: So, Katie how do you feel about today?

Katie: I love everything I do! It’s such a satisfying feeling knowing I’m helping people out in the community and hopefully it could lead to bigger scale things. 

Interviewer: Brilliant and what do you want achieve at the end of it all?

Katie: I just want everyone to know that ‘disabled’ children aren’t any different to ‘normal’children. They shouldn’t be discriminated against; it’s not fair on them! They are not different. 

Interviewer: Very good! It sounds like you have it all worked out and today has been a great success. Well done and good luck for the future!

Couple hours later

Scene 6

At home: Sam runs straight upstairs crying. Katie calls everyone for dinner.

Katie: Dinners ready guys!

Amelia and Sam run downstairs.

Amelia: enthusiasticly - How was school sam.i.am? 

Sam: bluntly - good!

Katie: Sam! whats the matter?

Sam: defensively - Nothing mum

Amelia: Sure sammy?

Sam: yes! 

They carry on eating in silence, but after 5 mins Amelia asks Sam some questions. 

Amelia: So mum, how'd it go today at the community centre, i was going to come down but i was busy at work!

Katie: It went so well! I had the local newspaper come down and do an interveiw. It was so good, i think i really got somewhere. I just hope it keeps going and gets bigger! 

Amelia: Well maybe on your next event, me and sammy could come along and help you out

Katie: Yes that would be good, because my next event is at your school sam!

Amelia: Even better!

Scene 7

Morning; Katie is getting ready to take sam to school. It's very hectic and rushed.

Katie: Sam wake up, you have 20 mins and we are leaving!

Sam: I'm up! 

Katie: Well get dressed!

Amelia: Mum have you seen my car keys?

Katie: In the fruit bowl in the lounge!

Amelia: Ok, see you later, bye sammy, have fun at school!

The front door slams, Katie screams to Sam!

Katie: Sam!!!! Hurry up.. i need to leave in 5 minutes! 

Sam walks down the stairs ready for school, Katie is rushing around pushing Sam out the door.

Katie: I've made you toast, you can eat it in the car!

Scene 8

In the car on the way to school.

Sam: I don’t want to go into school!

Katie: Well unfortunately Sam we all do things we don’t want to in this life, so just deal with it!

Scene 9

Katie arrives at work and is immediately bombarded with children coming up to her. 

Katie: Right children, take a seat. This morning we are doing some maths. Can anyone tell me what 2x3/3x2 is?

She pauses for a child to raise their hand

Katie: Well, to work it out, we think of it like this. 2+2+2 which equals what?

Child 1: 6

Katie: Well done, yes it is 6. So instead of writing 2+2+2 every time, we just write 2x3 which equals 6. Very good. Let’s try another one. How about 2x5. 

Scene 10

Sam has been in another fight with McKenzie and his gang and Amelia has been called because Katie isn’t answering her phone. Sam is waiting outside the office.

Principle: I’m very sorry to have to call you in here, but Sam has been involved in a fight with some boys in the year above.

Amelia: Is Sam ok? Is anyone hurt?

Principle: Sam is fine just a few cuts and a bit of bruising, but I just want to let you know, that it wasn’t the other boys who started the fight, it was Sam who instigated it, but from what Sam was saying the other boys where swearing and giving him some lip and being quite rude and this has happened before. Now what I am going to suggest for the next few days is that Sam at break time and lunch time sits in with his teacher just until this all blows over. 

Amelia: Well, this has happened quite a few times. I have seen him come home and run upstairs crying. I don’t think it is right, he has school books that are all ripped up and have nasty notes all over them. I just want you to assure me that it won’t happen again. 

Principle: I can assure that it won’t happen again Miss Horne, Sam is in safe hands. 

Amelia: Ok, well as long as something is done about it.

Principle: I can guarantee everything will be fine. Thank you for coming in Miss Jones. I’ll be in touch soon. 

Amelia leaves the office and sits down outside next to Sam.

Scene 11

Amelia: You know you can talk to me about anything Sam, if you are having problems at school you know you can talk to me or mum! 

Sam: I know, but its fine now, so can we just go! 

Amelia: Sam you’re not making it any easier. You need to tell someone if you have a problem, you can’t walk away.

Sam: Can you stop acting like mum cause you aren’t her!

Scene 12

Katie is on a lunch break at work and checks her phone to see she has missed calls from Sam’s school and Amelia. She calls her back. 

Katie: (on the phone) Amelia you rang, how are you? … Sam did what! Is he ok? Oh…I’m sorry, I was in class teaching, I can’t answer my phone. I’ll be home at 4:30.

Scene 13

Amelia is at home with Sam. Sam is talking to Amelia about what has been happening and it is making him angry that his mum (Katie) isn’t ever around when he has a problem. 

Sam: I hate the fact that mum is never around, she is always at work or busy with her friends. I never get to talk to her and if I do talk to her she is always having a go at me. It’s pissing me off! Ahhh… I hate her! She is so selfish. 

Amelia: Don’t swear and mum loves you, she has a lot going on. Just say to her that you want to talk to her and she will listen to you.

Sam: Do you not understand that every time I try to talk to her, she ignores me or shouts at me for doing something wrong. 

Sam goes off to his room. Amelia is starting to do dinner. 

Time passes and it gets to 5pm and Katie arrives home. She puts her stuff down on the living room floor

Amelia: Mum! Come here…we need a chat about today.

Katie: Sorry I didn’t come get Sam, I have been so busy with work, it just got on top of me. How is he? Is he upstairs?

Amelia: Mum! Let me talk. He is upset with you. He wants you to listen to him when he is talking to you, not just shout at him. He is 12 years old, he is just a kid and he wants you to love him!!

Katie: I will go talk to him. 

Scene 14

Katie walks upstairs and knocks on Sam’s bedroom door. 

Katie: Sam, can I come in please?

She goes and sits on the bed next to Sam

Katie: I know it’s hard, but Sam you know I am always here. I love you and always will, so stop with this petty teenage act that you don’t like me and stop getting into trouble at school! 

Sam: I’m not getting into trouble at school! You weren’t there, so you don’t know! Amelia is helping more than you! 

Script Writing 9/1/14

Rachels Lesson

Script Writing

Character Plan

Katie is a mother of two children, with 2 different men. She is a care free mum. she is all about helping out doing charity work, but with helping the community she doesn't see what is happening in her home. She works as a primary school teacher in a specialised school for children with disabilities.
Amelia is the first child of Katie. She is 19 and has gone off to uni and doesn't live at home. 
Sam on the other hand is 12. He is the second child of Katie, but with another man. Sam has a bit of a complicated life because at school he is being bullied but the only person who really takes any notice is Amelia, because Katie is too busy trying to help the cause she doesn't notice anything that happens inside her own home. 

Amelia came home from university 3 days ago and is home just tidying up a little bit around the house, getting things sorted whilst her mum is at work. She picks up her brother Sam’s bag and some of his books fall out onto the floor, they have nasty notes and words written on the front covers. Amelia shocked by this, shoves everything back in Sam’s bag and calls him downstairs.

Scene 1

Amelia is tidying up the house, she picks up Sam's school bag and some of his books fall out onto the floor; they have nasty notes and words written on the front covers.

Amelia shocked by this, shoves everything back in Sam's bag, but keeps the books out.

Amelia: Shouting up to sam - Sam come here a minute!

Sam: Casual, shouting from upstairs- What do you want?

Amelia: Shouting - Just come here

Sam quickly runs down the stair and comes to where Amelia is sitting on the sofa.

Amelia: Worried - Sam... what is with these notes! What's the problem? Are you ok?

Sam: Timid/shy - Nothing... just give me my books!

Amelia: Worried - Sam what are these notes! Who has been writing them? More worried Tell me please Sam!

Sam: Frustrated/upset - Please Amelia...Just leave it. I don't want any hasel!

Sam runs away upstairs and slams the door.

Scene 2

Sam is at school and about to go to on break in the playground. He is walking along the corridor towards the door to the playground.

He is suddenly stopped.

An older, much more butcher boy stops Sam from walking out to the playground.

He pushes him against the wall next to the door. He is surrounded by other boys.

McKenzie: harshly - Where you going dip face!

Sam doesn’t respond. He tries to break free from McKenzie’s grip.

McKenzie:Oi... I’m talking to you!

Sam:nervously – I I I’m going to the playground…

McKenzie: Oh are you…Come with me!


Sam is pushed by Mckenzie into the boys changing rooms.

Scene 3

Meanwhile Katie, Sam's mum is at the local community centre with her friends and volunteers setting up a charity event.

She is very flustered and is panicking a lot because she wants everything to be perfect.

Katie: Can I get another table please!

Women 1: Calm down! It will be fine, everything is done!

Katie: Ok! The press will be here in 10 minutes. Ok, everything is done! 

Katie carries on getting everything prepared and waits for the press to arrive.

Scene 4

Meanwhile at school Sam is having a difficult time with the older boys in the school.

Sam is sitting in the corner of the boys changing from with all his school boys ripped and all over the floor.

McKenzie: HA! Alright there school boy, you should think before you step foot infront of me.
Adlibs of all McKenzies friends: Ha/alright school boy

McKenzie and his friends walk out laughing, Sam is jsut left

Scene 5

Katie has an interview with the press and explains what she is trying to do. She has people singing, face painting for the kids and adult beauty bits and others. She has an interview and is asked how she is doing and how she feels raising the money for the charity, then they go and she is relieved of stress.

Interviewer: So, Katie how do you feel about today?

Katie: I love everything I do! It’s such a satisfying feeling knowing I’m helping people out in the community and hopefully it could lead to bigger scale things.

Interviewer: Brilliant and what do you want achieve at the end of it all?

Katie: I just want everyone to know that ‘disabled’ children aren’t any different to ‘normal’ children. They shouldn’t be discriminated against; it’s not fair on them! They are not different.

Interviewer: Very good! It sounds like you have it all worked out and today has been a great success. Well done and good luck for the future!

Couple hours later

Scene 6

At home: Sam runs straight upstairs crying. Katie calls everyone for dinner.

Katie: Dinners ready guys!
Amelia and Sam run downstairs.

Amelia: enthusiasticly - How was school sam.i.am?
Sam: bluntly - good!
Katie: Sam! whats the matter?
Sam: defensively - Nothing mum
Amelia: Sure sammy?
Sam: yes!

They carry on eating in silence, but after 5 mins Amelia asks Sam some questions.

Amelia: So mum, how'd it go today at the community centre, i was going to come down but i was busy at work!
Katie: It went so well! I had the local newspaper come down and do an interveiw. It was so good, i think i really got somewhere. I just hope it keeps going and gets bigger!
Amelia: Well maybe on your next event, me and sammy could come along and help you out
Katie: Yes that would be good, because my next event is at your school sam!
Amelia: Even better!

Scene 7

Morning; Katie is getting ready to take sam to school. It's very hectic and rushed.

Katie: Sam wake up, you have 20 mins and we are leaving!
Sam: I'm up!
Katie: Well get dressed!
Amelia: Mum have you seen my car keys?
Katie: In the fruit bowl in the lounge!
Amelia: Ok, see you later, bye sammy, have fun at school!

The front door slams, Katie screams to Sam!

Katie: Sam!!!! Hurry up.. i need to leave in 5 minutes!

Sam walks down the stairs ready for school, Katie is rushing around pushing Sam out the door.

Katie: I've made you toast, you can eat it in the car!


22/5/14
As this is my first draft of my script, since 

Script Writing 19/12/13

Rachels Lesson

Script Writing

Todays lesson.

Script Writing 7/11/13

Rachel Lesson

Script Writing

Research someone that inspires you, or you look up to.

Dougie Poynter
-Bassist in the band McFly
- 1/4 of the band McFly
- He is dating artist Lara Carew-Jones since 2011
- Before joining McFly at the age of 15, Dougie was in a band called 'Ataiz'
- He has co-written a childrens book 'A Dinosour that Pooped Christmas'
- Winner of 'I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here 2011'
Think how you can involve your chosen celebrity into your story/script:
Dougies girlfriend is Katie Jones' sister - that's how they are related.
Katie is wanting to get the recognition of disabled children known and having Dougie, a celebrity brother will help Katie out a lot.

What are the complications of having a real/known person in your play?
I think that the complications of having a known person in my plays is just the fact, no one will read much into the story more the fact that there is a celebrity in the play, so they won't really know what the story or what the message we are trying to put across is.

The main obstacle or goal in the play? What are they trying to acheive?

Pitch
Raising awareness to people about how kids with disabilities can have the choice where they go to school: mainstream or specialised.

Katie Jones is a 34 year old women and has three children. Isabella who is 12, Jack who is 4 and Sam who is 7 and has down syndrome.
Katie grew up in chelsea, London with her two brothers and her mum and dad. She went to a Private school - Arts Educational School and got a good education. She was a very outgoing school girl and was a hard worker and she knew what she wanted to do in life.
She did a lot of performing mainly dance, so she has kept herself in good condition and is very healthy. She has had a good career, performing on stage for a good few years in various shows such as Wicked, Sound of Music, Mary Poppins etc..and ever since she retired to look after her children, she has wanted the best for her children. Making Isabella do dance and getting Jack to do as much sport as possible.

Script Writing 24/10/13

Rachels Lesson

Script Writing

In todays lesson, we started taking about our characters for writing our own script. I thought about the Psycological, Solicalogical and the Physicalogical.